Aggghhh...

Once again I'm fighting against too many bad-guys.

I've no job, my kids are growing and need things, simple things like a bigger bed, and I can't give it to them.
Add to this the fact that I'm seen as their enemy half the time, their bank, quarter of the time and someone they can ignore the rest of the time and you've got a great combination.

I'm in, possibly the most complex relationship possible, and can't see the light at the end of the promised tunnel.

And, where once I had my health, recent results call even this into question.

If I could deal with any one of these on its own, I'm sure I'd be fine. But I'm no clown and can't juggle so everything is now getting to be a complete handful.

What the hell am I supposed to hold on to now? ....

Care for our community... No, just my family please.

I feel very strongly that I should discuss how inadequate the current support systems are for carers who are neither looking after someone elderly, nor who are only caring but are also still bringing up their family, or god forbid (!) working... alongside taking care of either their partner, a parent or someone else.

Through one brick wall after another I have discovered just how many services are set up with elderly care in mind, and find it really difficult to adapt to the needs of a much younger person - someone in their 30's or 40's has very different emotional and psychological requirements to those of a person in their 80's. This is a huge barrier when talking to some service providers who simply cannot seem to get it into their brains that even younger individuals might require personal support etc.
And it doesn't end there.
When asking for support needs to be looked at for the rest of the family, especially as we act as primary carers on a day to day basis, it is taking months to happen - there is nothing in place to help us, to support us, to stop us feeling isolated or stressed out. We know there are options, young carers support, regional carers organisations, but the length of time referrals take to these is painful, leaving my children without any outside support when they could probably really use it...
I understand things do take time, but I also know that I have already given up the one thing which gave our family most of its structure - my work- in order to care for my other half, but we are now reaching the time where if someone doesn't help us soon, somehow, we are going to start arguing more, finding it impossible to be in each others company and generally failing to function as a family in any way at all.